feverish delirium (delirios febriles)

Finally, I've decided not to stay at home waiting for the good moments, or good feelings or good vibrations again. In one hand I should do it, because is not good idea to go outside with fever, but in the other hand I wasn't sure if the good vibrations could pass through the walls of my flat, and through my own stupidity.

So I went out wearing like in the poles, and I discovered that it wasn't that cold and the sun was trying to shine in a shy way. It's a good point to begin, but not enough to give me an smile. The day was still too grey for me, so me and my sickness went to this place where is possible to forget, or to learn, to empty or to full your mind... Christiania.
Arriving in Christiashavn metro station I went out and I found plaça Catalunya. Today is Sant Jordi and there's a book fair! somebody gave me a red rose and this book I was looking for during years was there... A catalan book, Enric Casasses.
Seems impossible, surrealistic. I looked around me, where am I? In Denmark? in Barcelona? in another dimension? maybe is the fever that clouds out my mind... I looked around me and I only could se Joao behind me, with a big bag and a big smile. And Antonio "americano terrorista" was there too.
I smiled back, and I said hello to Antonio but he could not hear me. Maybe he was in the other side of the mirror.

What do you have in your bag Joao? the answer was: all my dirty clothes. I'm trying to clean them (where? in the Christianshavn channel?)


















I recited some catalan poetries to Joao while we where having a cup of coffee and I went to his flat. This place reminds me a film of Luis Buñuel, where the people can not scape from a room, and they don't know why. This was the situation in Joao's flat. The time runing between the flamenco that sounds from a guitar without strings, brasilian coffee, paprika around the door, italians writing guides of Spain from a lighthouse and the book of the fools. My body shaking because of the fever with the smoke of 5 hundred cigarrets around me... and when finally I came back home, all traffic lights were on green; a man from Greenland, looking like an ancient inuit from a remote ice paradise, said to me "have a nice day"; I took a photo of him and then, suddenly, the sun began to shine. I could sit in the front of metro, I had to wait only one second for the bus, I could choose a sit because it was empty and when I arrived home, Antonio called me to say: Buen dia terrorista! and my flatmate finally cleaned the kitchen, and all is in colours again.






I was too busy with my thoughs and I forgot about everything good that I have here, I forgot about the project meeting today, and I forgot to tell that I also love you all. And I will put names, I don't want more missunderstoods with my generic writing: I love you all Irene, Morgane, Jörg, João, Danilo, Danielo, Antonio terrorista... Thank you to worry for me, thank you Tibo for your funky dancing and for defend me even I didn't kick this fucking dog, thank you Kobenhavn for give me back the smile with this surrealistic trip. Maybe it was only a feverish delirium, but it opened my mind more than a revelation.



Happy Sant Jordi (Saint George's day/Sankt Jørgens Dag) to everybody.



















[Finalment, he decidit no estar-me a casa esperant els bons moments, bon rotllo, bones vibracions un altre cop. Per una part no hauria de sortir, perquè no es bona idea sortir amb febre, però per l'altra no estava segura si les bones vibracions poden transpassar les pareds de la meva habitació i transpassar la meva pròpia estupidesa fins arribar a mi.
O sigui que he sortit vestint com si anés als pols, i he descovert que no feia tant fred i el sol semblava que volia brillar tímidament. És un bon començament però no és suficient per fer-me somriure. El dia era encara massa gris per mi o sigui que jo i els meus virus hem anat a aquell lloc on és possible oblidar, aprendre, buidar i omplir la ment... Christiania.
Arribo a Christianshavn metro station i surto a plaça Catalunya. Avui és Sant Jordi i hi ha fira del llibre. Algú em regala una rosa i trobo un llibre que feia segles que buscava. Un llibre de l'Enric Casasses.
Totalment surrealista. On sóc? A Dinamarca? A Barcelona? En una altra dimensió? potser la febre a ennubolat la meva ment. Miro al meu voltant i em trobo al Joao amb una gran motxilla i un gran somriure i a l'Antonio terrorista.
Torno el somriure al Joao i dic hola a l'Antonio, pero no em sent. Potser està a l'altre cantó del mirall.

Què portes a la bossa Joao?
Tota la meva roba bruta, intento rentar-la
(on? als canals de Christianshavn?)

Li recito algunes poesies de l'Enric Casasses mentre fem una tassa de cafè. El seu pis em recorda una pel·lícula de Luis Buñuel on la gent no pot escapar d'una habitació, i ningú no sap perquè, alguna força els obliga a estar allà.
Aquesta és la situació al pis del Joao, el temps vola entre els acords d'una guitarra sense cordes, cafè brasileny, torrades amb patè danès, italians que escriuen guies d'Espanya des d'un far, i el llibre dels bojos.
Tremolo per la febre rodejada d'anells de fum... Quan finalment torno a casa, tots els semàfors estan verds; un groenlandès que semblava un esquimal d'un paradís llunyà i d'edat intemporal, m'ha desitjat bon dia, li he fet una foto, i de sobte el sol a començat a brillar.
M'he assegut al davant del metro, he esperat l'autobús només un segon, he pogut triar el seient perquè el bus anava buit i un cop a casa, l'Antonio m'ha trucat per dir-me: Bon dia terrorista! i el meu company per fi ha netejat la cuina, i tot és de colors un altre cop.

Estava massa ocupada amb els meus pensaments i he oblidat tot el bo que tinc aquí. He oblidat també que haviem quedat per estudiar, i m'he oblidat de dir-vos també que us estimo a tots. I posaré noms perquè no vull més malentesos pels meus escrits massa generals al blog:
Us estimo: Morgane, Irene, Jörg, João, Danielo, Antonio terrorista... Gràcies per preucupar-vos per mi, gràcies Tibo pel teu funky i per defendre'm tot i que no vaig tocar aquell puto gos, gràcies Copenhagen per tornar-me el somriure amb aquest viatge surrealista. Potser ha estat només un deliri febril, però ha obert la meva ment més que una revelació.]

Feliç Sant Jordi a tots.



"ni tampoc sé si tot és o

de vida i mort, de Dins i Fora,

de vós i jo, de segle i hora,

de terra i foc i aigua i aire,

de poc o molt, bastant, no gaire,

algú, ningú... o qualsevol"


Enric Casasses

No comments: